Gratitude changes Attitude

The bible tells us to “…enter His gates with thanksgiving and into his courts with praise.  Be grateful to him and praise his name…” Psalms 100

Many times I have forced myself to do this very thing on Sundays when my attitude is not right or I’ve had a bad week.  And to my amazement it always works. It never fails, when I come face to face with my King and my God, everything else fades. 

Sometimes, it is not a church day and I have nowhere to go.  I am learning that just because I have nowhere to go does not mean I cannot enter His gates with thanksgiving.  Wherever I am, I can welcome the Holy Spirit and I am there in His courts. Change comes when praise is lifted. In the presence of God, everything fades.

Little things have been happening over the past weeks to steal my joy. No electricity, no car, losing things, once a day, once a week.  Little foxes that want to destroy the vine.  I have decided to come into his presence with thanksgiving and into his courts with praise and my attitude changes. In prayer, God showed that my focus had shifted like Peter. When Peter came to Jesus by walking on the sea, everything was fine until Peter’s focus shifted from the master to the wind. Peter cried out and Jesus with stretched out hands saved him. I like the fact that it doesn’t say that the winds stop, instead Jesus reached out and took him out of the water. The wind was still there.  Many times, the circumstances in our lives will not change, the answers will not come yet He will still reach out His hand and draw us close to Him. Intimacy sometimes is all we will need.  In His presence there is fullness of joy and when we enter His courts with praise, that’s His place of intimacy. 

I also recently learned that obedience sometimes does not guarantee a specific outcome.  Sometimes all God wants is our obedience.  He says do this and we do it period.  Even when things seem to blow up in your face and doubt wants to creep in, we have to be certain obeying is better than sacrifice.  When we have that certainty, thanksgiving will be a lot easier.

Like the song says, “No matter what you’re going thru, God is only using you for His glory.” Be encouraged, God is with you and will never leave you.

Fun Times

Salome and Simeon

Amber Leigh

Genesis

Warren and Vicky

So Faithful, So Constant

Think of a number from one to ten. Add seven. Multiply by two. Subtract four. Divide by two. Subtract the number first thought of. 

Is your answer five?

It doesn’t matter what number you choose, you will realize that your answer will always be five. Go ahead, try it.  God spoke to me as I was doing this exercise with my family the other day.  He said, “I am always faithful, no matter what happens, what trials come your way.”  So it doesn’t matter how I feel certain days, He is there for me.  It does not matter whether I feel him or not; whether I see Him or not.  He is for me and for my family.  Just like the answer to the problem above will always be five, the number for grace, His grace will be sufficient for me to see me and see you thru each day.

Luke 18:1 says, “And He told them a parable to the effect that they should always pray and not lose heart.”  Jesus told them the parable of the persistent widow and how she kept going to the judge and every time she would plead for her release, the answer was NO. It never stopped her though, she kept going back until one day, she got on his nerves and he gave her what she needed. 

I was encouraged because although I have been praying for things and it seems as if nothing is happening, I must never lose heart and stop praying.  One day, God will answer and deliver and save!  I have to continue and persevere and never give up!

The answer is always five, the number for grace.  He will give me grace to pray one more day… Every day, one day at a time.

CampLife

It is night-time and everyone is asleep.  The compound is quiet.  A few dogs are barking and some music is still playing at the nearby bar.  Some folks are drinking and partying although it’s the middle of the week. A small girl is in bed, she tosses and turns as once again, her father appears in her dream.  He comes and she stirs but does not wake, he gives her instructions and then disappears but not without warning her not to ever speak of his visits to anyone. Some nights it’s not her father who appears but her grandmother who lives on the other side of town. She does not give her instructions but takes her to a faraway village.  A place where there is a meeting going on.  It is at that meeting where the elders take her blood. She wakes every morning dazed.  There is no joy in her eyes, she goes outside and sees them.  The men sent to watch her.  She notices one day though that she is the only one able to see them.  This is no ordinary story; it is the life of a little girl I met at camp.   

Our family participated in CampLife the second week in June and it was an amazing experience! After being in Zambia for more than 5 years, working with children that have been abused, forsaken and forgotten, I felt like I had this under control. We have seen so much, what’s one more story, one more child?  Every life story is unbelievably painful to hear and without the grace of God, we would not have made it one day, let alone the entire week. 

It is very common for children to have nightmares due to witchcraft, either in their immediate family or a neighbor who lives nearby.  This has been so shocking to me, that every single one of the ten girls in my group had nightmares due to witchcraft.  I have done what I know to do best, pray.  I’ve prayed for the girls to be delivered from the spirit of deception and divination.  Conversely, the worship experience left me speechless every time.  To see 800+ children worship and dance was more than my heart could take, many times all I could do was cry.  The Bible says “…at the name of Jesus, every knee shall bow and every tongue shall confess that He is Lord…”  That is exactly what happens at camp and in three weeks when it ends more than 7000 children will have come for a weeklong time away with God.

The children who come are from all around Lusaka, some are orphans who are unwanted by even their relatives.  Others have been physically, emotionally and verbally abused.  They come not really knowing what to expect but when they encounter their creator, all the pain and hurt disappears for just those few moments and they are free.  For the first time in a long time, they are free to dance, free to run, free to sing, and all of it they do with a joy that comes from their “Papa God O”.  Their Father holds those things that have hurt them for so long at bay so that His children can receive the hope that was meant for them since the beginning of time. 

The week of camp was life changing for us as a family.  Words cannot describe the impact it has had on us, especially the children.

 

 

Is Your Trial Your Friend?

I know you may be asking where I’m going with this, but just stick with me for a moment.  We have made some life changing decisions lately that were preceded by some very hard trials. God has allowed these circumstances in our life that I believe have been designed to take us into a deeper level with him. They have been fashioned to take us places we would never think of going on our own.  I was listening to myself pray the other day and I had to stop right in the middle of it because, it was beginning sound like a broken record.  I was saying again, “Oh Lord please help my mind to be at peace.  Help my heart to settle and believe you are doing something in this situation.” It was as if God was sitting next to me staring me in the face saying, “Really Vicky, I have been with you so long and you still don’t get me?” I was like, “Huh?” He said, “Didn’t I give you a word already? Are you going to live by it or are you going to let it sit next to you and not grab it for what it’s worth?” I was stunned because I remembered exactly what he had spoken to me before. He had said, “Let there be light” Period. And here I was, on this rollercoaster ride of emotions just because things didn’t turn out the way I expected them to. I was going to believe the word was for me only when things went well, as soon as things started to turn sour then no. Why? Simply because in my finite thinking only good can come to me and I was forgetting that rain falls on both the just and the unjust alike.  I was forgetting that when (my interpretation) the three Hebrew boys were confronted for their disrespectful behavior toward the King, they chose the word God spoke to them above all else.  They told the king, Hey listen, I know you’re the king and all, but we are not going to hold back and do what you want us to do above the instruction that was given to us by our God and King. Sorry, but even if we die, WE WILL NOT BOW.

I have to segue here for a moment because if you’re like me you’ve read this and I’m not sure you get the picture.   I am Spanish and elders and people in authority have to be respected and honored no matter what.  I also live in a society where youngsters are taught the same, honor and respect your elders and those in authority. No questions asked. The “because I said so” motto.  Well, these three Hebrew boys were in the same situation.  They were going against what had been taught to them since they were born.  Honor your elders and those in authority; not to mention they were slaves, they had no choice, no opinion.  Their lives were going to be on the line regardless, they knew that. It didn’t matter to them one bit though, because they had also been taught something else from their infancy, to honor God and not bow before none other but Him. 

So, we’re back in Babylon… Here is king Nebuchadnezzar in front of these little people who dared not only disobey him but also had the audacity to talk so liberally to him and say, “We don’t care what you do to us, we’re not bowing.” My goodness, he got so mad his face turned different colors and contorted into different forms.  He was furious! (I don’t think anyone had ever spoken so to him before) How dare these good for nothing slaves talk to me like that? Who do they think they are?  I’ll show them! He made the flame in that pit so hot it killed the guards who were putting the boys in.  Sometimes when we barbequed, the flame gets too close to the food and it burns your fingers a bit, it’s time to do something otherwise the food will burn. Well, the flames were a million ti mes hotter than that, it was meant to kill and kill it did, just not the boys. They trusted the spoken word of God over the threat and were blessed for it.

You know every day it is as if threats are spoken to me.  Sadly though, some days I give in and heaviness hangs over me like a blanket. Other days, it’s gone. The next day it comes back.  It’s as if this thing has become my friend and has free access to me whenever it feels like.  Yesterday, when I was praying, God stopped me and asked if I was done. I was stunned. He had given me a word and I had just taken it for that day and brought back my friend “despair” the next day instead.  How foolish of me!  Here is the universe maker and star breather giving me light instead of darkness and I put it to the side. God forgive me!  I have decided to hold on to my word like those three Hebrew boys.  When I get a threat to bow to despair, discouragement, loneliness, depression, anything other than my Jesus, I will just have to say, “NO.” Sorry but I don’t really care what you say devil, “I’m not budging.” In Jesus’ name! This darkness is no longer my friend since I do have a friend who sticks closer than a brother, Jesus is His name.  Some trials are meant to be our friend because they are meant to teach us things that otherwise we would not learn, but I believe when they have done their duty, they have to go packing.

Let There Be Light

 

"In the beginning God created the heaven and the earth.  And the earth was without form, and void; and darkness was upon the face of the deep. And the Spirit of God moved upon the face of the waters.  And God said, "Let there be light:" and there was light."

I have read this passage of scripture so many times that I'm sure like many of you it's been engrained in my mind never to be forgotten.  Well, although it has been years that I've read this and known it, today it took on a different meaning because the words jumped off the page and became alive.  It was amazing.  Lately I have felt as if darkness had surrounded me like humidity on a hot summer's day.  Two parts of this passage stood out to me.  One was in the chaos and when darkness ruled, "God was moving in the midst of it all." AMAZING! He is still there even when I don't feel Him close.  Even when praying can be no more than two words, "Jesus help".  In all of that, when the trials are too much too carry, when the pain is overwhelming and it's better to crawl on your bed and cry, He is there!  The word says "moving".  He is moving in the midst of it all because the next thing He will do is blow everything out of the water.  The Word says, "And God said, Let there be light: and there was light."  Simple. One word from God and the darkness disappeared.  It ended. Period.
Wow! Maybe, it's just me but that blew me away.  It's that simple. God, you speak, it will all go, end of story.  All the heaviness, worry, darkness and burdensome spirit, GONE!
As if that was not enough, I was reading in Matthew 7:7-8, "Ask, and it shall be given you; seek, and ye shall find; knock and the doors will be opened."  Jonh 16:24 says, "until now, you have not asked anything in my name. Ask and you will receive that your joy may be full"  That was it my word for today.  I will ask for joy and it will be mine because that's the light He spoke into my darkness.

An Update

April is the end of term one holiday month, but also a flurry of preparations for the coming school term.  End of term also is a wonderful time to take field trips.  KTS visited a Taxidermy farm where they prepare shoulder mounts, skins and etc. of trophy animals people caught or had to be put down.  The visit in part is the beginning on a series we are doing in school on going to the museum.  At the museum the animals housed there look so real and for the children the thoughts are many and so are the questions.  The best place to begin is the place where they recreate these animals to make them look real and alive.  They had so much fun!  The school term ended with 83 students attending; 5 of whom are boys from Kakabalika Child Foundation, it was nearly 24% increase from the total students finishing 2012 school year.  The school has also climbed out of the red and into black for the first time since it opened.  There were quite a number of transportation setbacks, and payment delinquencies but all in all, school pulled through. With fiscal responsibility in place, KTS can only get better.

The boys have transitioned over to the house 2 campus and during the break; preparations are on the way to make campus 1 the school complex:  desks, classrooms, blackboards, computer lab, science lab, staff room and offices.  Mr. Fitz Munsanje the new Head of School has also assumed the full roll as leader and I, warren, will assist him part-time until June.

There are seven boys taking exams this year; one the grade 12, five the grade 9 and one the grade 7 examination.  All of the boys are presently attending extra lessons; several did part-time work to take even more lessons in mathematics.  There is an eagerness to do well and the effort this time around is more than any previous KCF clients.

Genesis celebrated her 12^th birthday this month and is very excited about becoming a teenager.  She and her siblings are training very hard in swimming to hopefully start competing soon.  The children have been fervently praying about our next and are looking forward to what the Lord has in store for our family.  They have seen Him answer prayers that seemed impossible and are now confident about His answer.  He never fails!

Two years after the motorcycle accident, Warren will have the plate removed from his foot, giving some much needed ease of movement to his ankles.  The operation will take place on April 29^th and he will be no weight bearing for about 3 weeks.  We pray for a much quicker healing and recovery time.

Please pray with us to have a smooth transition and adjustment for the new head of school.  Pray that we would take time to reflect, pray and process after the change. Pray for speedy recovery and healing of Warren’s foot. We would be grateful for continued encouragement, support, love and prayer from family and friends.  We desperately are in need of Gods mind, will and discernment for the next Carr family adventure and of course health, safety and protection.  More importantly, we are asking for an increase of God’s love for Him and for those He came to rescue and heal.

What About The Children

“What about the children, to ignore is so easy…”

The crowd stood around the lifeless body wondering what to do, speechless that the vehicle didn’t take the time to check and see or take the victim to the hospital.  In an area of town where the gangsters rule by night and emergency assistance is few and far in between, calling on the holy name of Jesus was the only option.  As the internal organs became visible, no one dared touch the child until out of nowhere came a hand that reach out and touched the form and began to say the name of Jesus and right before all the on-lookers, the form moved, turned and groaned in pain.

The emergency personnel arrived took the child and our tour through Nanga and Guguletu continued.  These two townships of Capetown, South Africa and the episode just described are one in and of the same.  The people in them have been hit by a moving vehicle and left for dead, but God in His mercy is reaching out in love and hope.  Our driver was visibly shaken by the episode, because his children was about the same age and in the car we began to ask God to have mercy and cause the child to live and tell the story of how she met Jesus that day.  The hand God chose to use that day was the hand of my wife.  She didn’t know the language or the people, but she knew God and that was all that mattered.  There are times in church when parts of messages become real and even songs we sing that seem impossible; that afternoon we could hear our pastor’s voice singing “…love through me holy spirit love through me.  Let my hand reach out to others love through me…”  Our children were about 3,000 km away and the instinct that only a mother could have was rush to the aid of her child.  I tell you, on that day it was as if it was one of ours lying there on the street.

The experience was the highlight of a much needed time of rest for Vicky and me and a time God used to speak to us about our future and what He had in store for our family.  Since our return, day and night the children have taken on the burden of praying for this child.  We took a picture as keep sake because one day we will meet again.

“…and if not for those who loved us and who cared enough to shows us…where would we be today?”

 

My wife children and I have been profoundly impacted by what we’ve experienced in Zambia over the past six years.  We felt the Lord tug at our hearts to come and help in the areas of need and therefore set out on this wonderful journey that really has only just begun.  Our return to Zambia in March of 2012 was the beginning of a new chapter for the Carr family and little did we know that it was also another tugging of the Lord for us to move on.  That last statement sounds very strange because we thought we had come to what the call was for us, but the Lord through the messages at church was pointing out that ROJF and KCF was just a vehicle He used to get us onto the continent.  Slowly over the months we realize that the doors were closing on our tenure at KCF and had no other recourse than to submit and declare that God is God and we are not.

 

Making the decision includes resigning from Kakabalika Trust School as Administrator and Kakabalika Child Foundation.  We have learned tremendously from our colleagues and more so from the students and KCF boys who have solidified for us a love and passion for teaching and caring.  The difficulties experienced were like a file; they sharpened our characters and taught us wonderful truths about ourselves and our interaction to and with people.  Invaluable, we will never be the same and this experience will always be remembered with fondness.

 

We want to publicly thank Rev. Sambo for the confidence and opportunity to serve under his leadership and to our colleagues at the School and the Residential program for covering our many mistakes, pouring their support and assistance upon us like a cold cup of water on a hot summer day.  We are eternally grateful for the opportunity to serve and do hopes that a foundation was laid so that leaders trained will have an equally rewarding time.

“…so many innocent children will choose the wrong way…”

In the short time that we have been in Zambia many changes have taken place among the people.  The HIV/AIDS rates have fallen from 1 in 4 to 1 in 7.  Prayer, death, medication, information and abstinence campaign played a critical part in driving the high numbers down.  One statistic that is constantly increasing is children; in Zambia alone 46% of the total population of 13 million people is children under 16 years.  Around the world 22% of the people trafficked for slavery, labor and sex trade are children.

There are many homes in Zambia where a child is heading that household.  We have spent the last six years dealing with the ones that end up on the streets, but there is a greater number in the compounds needing just someone to care.  The burdens is enormous and very overwhelming for the governmental institutions, but God who is father to the fatherless, hope for the hopeless knows their names, bottles their tears and hears their every call.  His answer is you and me and to that end our family is praying and discussing what God would have for us to do next in assisting the plight and needs of children.

In the meantime we are continuing our work at KCF through June and we hope to have something concrete for you to partner with us on in your prayer and support.  We do look forward to hearing from you before then, hoping that you will let us know what is going on in your life and how we can labor in prayer with and for you.  Do know that we love and miss you dearly and cannot wait for that someday when we can be together.

Matters for Prayer:

·         Grace to endure the separation pain

·         Smooth transition and adjustment for the new head of school

·         Time to reflect, pray and process after the change

·         Continued encouragement, support, love and prayer from family and friends

·         Discernment and clarity for the Carr family’s next God venture

There Is Fruit

God really uses mysterious things to speak and get at my heart. The story I shared in the previous blog is very real and close to me. He has been speaking interestingly enough through nature. I guess it has helped that we are on a farm and have planted corn, beans, potatoes, groundnuts and other vegetables. We are also raising chickens and have a goat! So, a lot of the time God uses what is around me to speak to me because there was a time not very long ago where I felt that He was very distant. A time when He had given a specific instruction and then all seemed quiet for a while after that. At that time, I was desperately drawing close to Him asking for clarity and direction. He did just that.

Like I said, we planted sweet corn in our yard and were hoping for a wonderful harvest. We grew the corn as organinc as we could manage. It was growing beautifully and then after some time, it decided to get dry. No matter how many times it rained, it was dry and many stalks were falling to the ground. The children and I went out a few times after school to try and fix the fallen stalks. We would pick them up and then pound dirt around it so they could stay standing. This went on for a couple of weeks and then we noticed that it was time to try to harvest the corn because we may lose the little bit that was left. I really had no hopes in this crop, as far as it was concerned I knew we had nothing to pick really. However, we went out and picked as much as we could. One massive bowl, two, three and then four!! Ok, I forgot to take a picture but I hope you understand the kind of bowls I'm referring to. These are not big mixing bowls that we keep in our kitchen to make a big salad or even put some fruit in. No, these are BIG African bowls. Go ahead, do something with me, get both arms out in a circle as if you're hugging an imaginary person and fingers are barely touching. Got it? Yep, that big! Not one, but four of those full of corn from my fallen, dry and torn up corn field. That was more than incredible, it was amazing!!

When I took the first three bowls inside to try and figure out what to do with it, God spoke to me and said, "Vicky, there more fruit in you than you realize. You think I am so far away and you are dry and torn inside but get ready because the harvest that I will reap from your life is plenty. and not just you but Warren and the children" I just stood there amazed. He actually wasn't finished with me yet! In fact, it seems as if He is just getting started!

In the midst of this trial, God spoke to a couple of my friends to call one day. I cannot explain to you how timely that was. It was like me and the kids going out to pick up the corn and sure the stalks up with more dirt so they would remain standing a bit longer. That is what these friends did. The held us up in prayer and made sure we were standing for a bit longer. There was another friend who out of nowhere emailed and said that our family had popped up in their prayer meeting. Coincedence? Don't think so. God is working even when we don't see Him at work.

The past couple of months, Warren was invited to share at the local christian radio station twice. Around the same time, we met some new friends who invited him to sing at the American Embassy. He lifted the name of Jesus at both places. God whispered to me, "There is fruit, Vicky" I really am not saying this to be proud but because God is working and I know it's not just for us. He is working for you too and in you too! Are you like us, and have felt dry and torn and like there is nothing left to give and surely there is nothing left to take from you. You are beyond empty. Dry, bruised and broken. God is there and He will see you through and you have fruit.

It is very rare that my husband gets to preach but this past Sunday, He was invited to speak at a local church. He blew me away because the message was about being God's workmanship created for Him for a specific purpose. We are God's masterpiece, He will finish what He started in us. He who began a good work in you, will finish it! There is fruit!

A New Leaf is Growing

     It has been quite a while since my last blog. Not because of the lack of events in our lives but because we have been so busy that I have hardly had time to sit and just be.  I'm not sure if you have ever had moments like that, but this past year has been very trying for our family.  God had been introducing a change that I quite frankly did not want to hear.  I have been very happy with where we are and did not need any shaking.  I mean I finally felt like I was beginning to arrive at a settled place after being on the "chaos" and "transition" bridge for so long.  But you know, we had been praying that God would have His way and would speak and bring us to a deeper level in Him.  A friend of mine sent me a beautiful message one day that I now know came directly from heaven.  I have to tell you a little bit of the background so you could understand.  You see we had given this friend a plant as a house warming gift when we visited right before moving to Zambia.  She was very glad for it and even promised to pray for our family every time she would water the plant. I was moved because that is exactly what she did.  Well, here we are five and a half years on the field and believe it or not the plant is still alive.  There was a problem not long ago where she noticed that the plant was looking unhealthy.  I think it is best to post what she wrote:

Hey Vicky, I thought perhaps I should check in and let you know that the Carr plant is alive and well.  I must admit, it has endured quite a bit of neglect on my part.  I don't have much of a green thumb and often forget to water it but it's resilient and it's still holding on.  It's leaves have suffered a few scrapes and bruises but I think it adds character.  Once it got knocked over and dirt went everywhere but thankfully it wasn't permanently damaged.  A couple of weeks ago, I noticed that it was beginning to look a bit tired and dry so I thought to re-pot it.  (It's been in the same pot since you guys gave it to us right before your initial trip to Zambia).  But after inspecting its roots, I noticed it hadn't actually outgrown its home and didn't need a new pot afterall - just fresh soil and a healthy dose of plant food.  I took great care to replace the soil and then returned it back to its original place in our dining room.  I'm now happy to report that in just a short while, it has perked up and it's actually growing a new leaf!  Not many plants would survive the way this one has! I expect it will be fully recovered and thriving again in no time!

I pray you are doing well, my friend, "I pray that from His glorious, unlimited resources He will empower you with inner strength through His spirit.  Then Christ will make His home in your hearts as you trust in Him.  Let your roots grow deep down into the soil of His wondrous love and keep you strong." Ephesians 3:16,17

      This amazing message spoke so clearly to me for where I was back then.  All I knew is that like the plant I had been knocked down and felt like all I stood in (my soil) was scattered all over the place.  So bruised and broken.  God was saying, "Let me heal you and help you get new soil and put you back to the right place."  Of course, as the healing process began and slowly God started taking away the dead leaves and fixing the scrapes, I prayed, "Lord, like the verse in Ephesians, please let my roots grow down deep so that nothing would move me from the place where you place me."  Well, like a true Father who does not give me a stone when I ask for bread He did just that... He started to let my roots grow deep.  One thing I did not realize though, is that as the roots grow deep eventually a new pot is essential for healthy growth to continue...  And transplant shock is almost inevitable...

More to come...